Something that has always troubled me as a person working as a server in restaurants, is when a guest will ignore me as I am trying to serve them. It occurred to me that, along with this, there are other things people may actually not know to do or understand when they are out to eat. Considering my expertise as a server and my extensive experience as a patron, I thought I might take some time and try to explain. There are several things people do that trouble me, but this is where I will start. When we approach the table, please consider that we are there to help you, and take a moment to cease your conversation if possible. You don’t have to ask us our middle name or what our hobbies are, but just acknowledging our presence makes us feel more like a human and helps us to do our jobs better. Bonus points if you ask us how we are doing, but I understand that some of you are on a schedule. I also understand that not everyone eats out at a restaurant for the same reasons all the time. Some are there celebrate, some to mourn, some wanting to remember and some trying to forget. There are retirement parties and birthdays, anniversaries and engagement celebrations. There are also funerals and celebrations of life. People end their relationships at restaurants, believe it or not. That’s not just something that happens in the movies. Some people are there on business and some on a first date. Some are just there because they don’t want to cook. Some can’t. You would be surprised all the reasons a person can find themselves anywhere at anytime. But wow what a thing to ponder and that’s not what we’re doing here. What we are doing here – or what I am attempting to do, however, is to not only help people to communicate better and more clearly in restaurants and customer service environments, but to give you tools to make it more pleasant and enjoyable for you both. Because we are affected by our experiences. Our interactions with people often make us feel some sort of way. They can piss us off or they can cheer us up, and all the things in between. My intention when I talk to people out and about, is to make it positive for us both. Sometimes – often times – they are not in that place. It’s taken me my whole life to understand that and to realize that it’s okay. Like Ram Dass said, we are all the same but with different curriculums. Some grow taller sooner, some learn to spell faster, others die first or get enlightened later. Just because I am figuring out, doesn’t mean that you are. But I hope you are starting to. And where that begins is by being honest with yourself. Talking about the things you don’t like about yourself and that you want to change. Taking steps to change them. Changing them. My point is, sometimes I have to try a little harder to make those positive interactions happen. The cashier might not be in the mood or maybe they are shy. They might even have crippling anxiety and are just now realizing it. Extreme and unlikely, possibly, but possible. And that’s just it, we don’t know. And it is possible. So, I make a joke. Sometimes one that will even make me look a little silly, just to make them more comfortable. I always thank them for being there. This isn’t something I’ve always done, but I’ve always made it a point to make a little pleasant conversation. Who knows who they dealt with before me or who’s yet to come? It’s what I can do. Imagine if we all just did what we can do in each and every interaction? What if we all tried to make each other feel a little bit better? I can tell you one thing and that is that we all would feel better. It feels good to make someone smile, especially someone who needs it. It means a lot to make them feel noticed and appreciated. I only recently started thanking people for being there, as a result of the pandemic. It seems to mean something to them, and even if on one occasion or two it might not, I keep doing it. Not everyone will react the same and that is something I have learned as well. When you want to do something good, you don’t attach yourself to the outcome of it. You don’t have expectations of the reaction. You do it because it should be done and you are able. Some would say you do the things as a service to God. That way you never get down because someone didn’t thank you or seem appreciative. That’s on them. The good thing you did is on you. So, good job. And thanks for reading if you're still here. Stay safe, all, and kind too.
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