I attended my first Buddhist meeting in the summer of 2019 when I was 37 years old. At the time, I had been a Personal Trainer for 4 years, and was also working at a restaurant. The restaurant specialized in serving local food and made a lot of items in-house. My time there gave me a great appreciation for knowing where my food comes from and taught me the value of getting it from people in my community. I met a lot of people I cherish to this day and made friendships that will last my lifetime. I met my wife-to-be there. This restaurant was a step up from the others I had worked. There was a great sense of pride in what we did. I felt that if I was going to be a server, this was where I wanted to do it. But as the years went by, the lifestyle it influenced started to conflict heavily with the life I longed to lead as a health professional. The late nights, excessive drinking, lack of nourishment and proper sleep, was all adding up. I was struggling and for the first time since I had become a Personal Trainer, I thought about quitting. I thought how much easier it would be to just work at the restaurant. I saw some of my coworkers do it and they seemed more carefree than me. They could stay out late, sleep in, and be refreshed for their next shift. They didn't have to wake up and go out and become someone else for the first part of their day. At least that's how I felt. I didn't feel like I was walking the talk anymore. I was not living the part, and it showed. I put on weight. I can see it in pictures now, especially, in my face. I wasn't happy with myself or where I was, and I couldn't see a way out of it.
The Personal Training company I worked for mainly went in-home to work with clients, but we did work out of a couple of gyms. One of my clients there introduced me to a neighbor of hers, Jeri, who was interested in personal training. It was around this time, that I had started to take on clients of my own, whom I had not trained through the company. Jeri was one of the first of those clients. She exuded confidence. She was disciplined and I always felt like she was present. She told me a little about Nicherin Buddhism. She'd been practicing for decades and felt it had saved her life. She told me about the power of chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and described the Lotus Sutra to me. She explained the Lotus as a symbol of purity, rebirth, resilience and strength. With its roots connected to the bottom of the swamp, the lotus submerges every night into the water and miraculously reblooms the next morning, clean and crisp. And it does this, each day and night. It never resists. Its daily process of life, death, and reemergence teaches us that we can rise up from dark and difficult situations and reconnect to the light that surrounds us. The lotus is sacred and represents spiritual enlightenment, the universe, and the opening of the heart. It's said that Shakyamuni Buddha appeared atop a floating lotus and his first footsteps left lotus blossoms.
The petals of the lotus represent the opening of the heart. The flower symbolizes our ability to come from a place of suffering into light. It's said that an open blossom signifies enlightenment, while a closed blossom signifies potential. In Buddhism, we talk a lot about untapped potential and we discuss ways to access that. The stem represents Buddha's teachings, which raise the mind above the "mud of worldly existence," and give purity of the mind.
The color of the Lotus also has significance. Blue represents the symbol of victory of the spirit over the senses and signifies knowledge and insight. Red represents all things love and compassion. White is a state of total mental purity, and pink is supreme, reserved for the highest deity, Shakyamuni Buddha.
It's becoming more clear as to why the Lotus is so special, but why did I choose it for my Personal Training business logo? In the past few years, with the help of some friends and my Buddhist practice, I have managed to tap into potential I didn't know I had. All my life, I felt like there was this cap on the things I could do - they could only be so great. I could only be so great. I didn't hold myself to the same standards as I did the people I looked up to. I suppose I thought they had something I didn't and could never have. I had more self doubt than confidence. I didn't fully believe in myself. I was in that "muddy" place. But over time, with each attempt at being better and living more healthily, I became more and more exposed to the light. It truly feels like I'm finally opening up, however, I do still get mud on me from time to time. That is why I stay consistent with my practice as well as my people. I might forget that I can push forth at times, but they won't.
Sarah Jio, author of All the Flowers in Paris said, “Lotus flowers lead harrowing journeys. Their seeds sprout in murky swamp water, thick with dirt and debris and snarls of roots. For a lotus to bloom, she must forge her way through this terrible darkness, avoid being eaten by fish and insects, and keep pressing onward, innately knowing, or at least hoping, that there is sunlight somewhere above the water's surface, if she can only summon the strength to get there. And when she does, she emerges unscathed by her journey and blooms triumphantly.”
Thank you for reading.
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