There is this mindfulness and meditation app on my phone that starts each day with thought provoking quotes. There are several features in this app that I find to be helpful, including articles, videos, podcasts, as well as each day's Words of Wisdom. Today's comes from John Lennon, and it goes like this:
"There are two basic motivating forces, fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open hearted vision of people who embrace life."
I was thinking recently, about behavioral change in humans, and that got me thinking about the things that motivate us to change - not to want to change, but to actually do it. I consider these things often. As a Personal Trainer, my job is to help people become stronger. In order to do that, I spend more than just a half an hour to an hour with them, and I do more than just make them exercise. I teach them how to do it, by helping them understand why they are doing it. Which muscles does this exercise target, and what kinds of things are you using those muscles for during your every day activities? What are the benefits of having strong hamstrings and good proprioception, for example? What strikes us even more is knowing what it means to not have those things. How hard it is to step up on a high step without the use of a rail, or to get up from a squatted position - to even be able to get into a squatted position; to not be able to walk in a straight line or to be able to walk very far; to not be able to walk at all. There are times when there is no better motivating force than fear. When it comes to health especially, apply fear here, but not without knowledge. Whether the catalyst for change derives from something positive or negative, the only way for the change to sustain is through knowledge. The more you know. Seriously. The more you understand something, the more clear things are, and the better able you are to do what you need to do. You no longer seek the path of least resistance, because you know now what that means. You understand that you are cheating yourself and/or others. You get that the easy way will most likely not be the best way, nor that it will last. You take the time to prepare fresh and healthy food, even though you feel like you are starving at the time (you're not), because you know the lasting benefits and nourishment it will provide, rather than opening up a bag of chips or something fast and easy. It's hard for me to do the wrong thing, when I know what the right thing is. I truly believe that a lot of us don't know what the right thing is. Which again makes me want to stress the argument for knowledge. If something scares you, look it in its eyes and get all the information you can about it. Research it, talk about it, really get to know it. It's the not knowing that is really scary. Let fear motivate you to want to know more and become better, and let it stop there. By all means, don't let it close you off.
And love as a motivating force? Is there anything more intoxicating? Falling in love, especially, makes caterpillars into butterflies. You can do things you couldn't do before, and you want to do things you didn't want to do before. You're stronger and funnier and oh, so much happier. You are more confident and full of hope. You're excited. All the time. The air is fresher. The food tastes better, but at the same time, you don't need food because you're full of love! You can stay up later and get up earlier. I have this friend who I see falling in love. You get no details of this friend or their circumstances, other than the fact that they are beaming brighter than I've ever seen them before. Whether or not the love between my friend and this other person lasts, I hope the love in general does. The newfound love for their life and the people in it. The happiness. The excitement. Relying on this love alone, though, is not the way. It's incorporating it and the feelings we get from it, into our life. But still living our lives. The love doesn't become our life, even though at first it's all we want. We have to balance it, just like fear - because just like fear, it can be positive as well as negative. It's up to you and how you handle it.
Love and fear. Two seemingly very different things. Both motivating. Both able to lift and lower, brighten and darken, hurt and heal. Learn, love, live. Know yourself so that you can know how you are affected by fear. That way it can't stop you. And love. Know how you are affected by that too, and not just when you feel like you have it. The You that is brought out by those things is in there. It's inside, and the better you know yourself, the more able you are to tap into the strength that comes from those forces, and the stronger you will be.
Thanks for reading. Peace and love.
-Steph
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