In 2019 I set a goal to quit drinking for a month or so. I blogged about it several times over a period of 37 days. I called that blog Breaking Booze. During that time, I realized it was more realistic to cut back on drinking as opposed to quitting all together. I could abstain, but I didn't have to - not all the time. I believe that I could have been done with alcohol at that time, now that I think about it. I am certain I had enough reasons to stop. I lost my oldest sister to it. I didn't want it. But sadly, at the time, I believed I needed it. I thought it helped. I wasn't just a Personal Trainer then. I worked in a restaurant and had done so for almost 20 years. The restaurant business was my life, and not only did that mean an increase in alcohol use and abuse, but the normalization of it as well. I found myself in an environment where it was more common to drink, than not to. I was in a place where it was everywhere. There's a reason alcohol becomes such a problem for so many people. If you like it enough and if you have regular enough access to it, you have to make it a choice not to do it. You have to put serious effort into it and constantly. You have to not only set the intention, but you have to be vigilant about it. There's always a reason. There's something to celebrate - anything. You had a hard day. Your back hurts. You feel more social and you think you're less anxious. You're funnier and maybe you care a little less about this or that. You have to taste a new recipe, or try a new beer so you can talk about it with your guests. You're sad. You're tired. You want to have fun. Insert just about any reason here to drink and most people will. The good news for me, is that I woke up. I was away from that world for long enough to realize the effect it had on me and on my health. I had suspected for years that it was harming my mental health specifically, but now I had living proof. On a side note, if you are depressed or suffering from depression, ask yourself if you drink too much. It's in definition a depressant and slows the central nervous system. And if your answer to that is "no", ask yourself how much is too much - because if you worked in the restaurant industry, your threshold is most likely higher than most.
Since the beginning of this year, I started tracking the days on my calendar that I didn't drink - not a drop. As the months went on, I realized how many more days I wasn't drinking, and how often I didn't want to. As more time went on, I found myself trying to avoid it on certain days all together. I have finally realized the negative effects alcohol can have on my life. That is why I am using the excuse of supporting a friend on her mission to break booze for the month, and I am doing it too. Will I go back? Maybe. My intention is to take a break and to be open to how that affects me. So, here goes the month. Who's coming with me?
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